Be wary of mocking hatred of paper coffee cup lids.

Woe betide those who are misreading the public’s last straw with paper straws.

As with stars about to go supernova and die an explosive death, sure signs portend the demise of a relationship.

Take, for example, the loss of tolerance for minor irritations. Behaviors that once seemed endearing become insufferable. 

It feels like Canada's ruling federal Liberal party is frequently ignoring this warning sign in their relationship with the Canadian public. After nearly a decade of power, the Canadian electorate has decidedly fallen out of love with the party. So, even from a crass political perspective, the Liberals should be attempting to lessen the impact of annoyances their government is inflicting on the proletariat.

But alas.

Enter the federal Liberal's ban on single-use plastics, such as straws, checkstand bags, forks, and coffee cup lids.

On the surface, the Liberals' move to ban single-use plastics like straws and grocery bags should be dismissed as a minor inconvenience. After all, what's the big deal about drinking a milkshake out of a paper straw if a turtle can be saved? Isn't eating soup with a soggy cardboard spoon worth it if it means less plastic in lakes and rivers? And it's no big deal to bring a reusable bag to the grocery store if it means less plastic waste in landfills, right? 

The problem for the federal Liberals, and the environment, is that a rapidly growing segment of otherwise polite and apolitical Canadians don't feel this way anymore.

This is likely due to the fact the Liberal a) cocked up the single-use plastics ban while b) overseeing a dramatic increase in the overall cost of living. Because of these two issues, Canadians who have seen their rent double in the time since the ban was enacted are less charitable about having to suck their smoothie through a mushy, foul-tasting cardboard mess. Canadians who have seen their grocery bill skyrocket are more aggrieved about paying Canada's grocery oligopoly $2 for something to put their inflation-affected perishables into. 

And worse still, whether or not the ban is actually helping to reduce plastic waste - a laudable goal - is debatable.

Since its implementation in May 2021, the Liberal plastics ban has been heavy on virtue-signaling and light on measurable positive outcomes. For starters, the government's method of enacting it has been challenged in court, and it's now unclear whether the ban is actually in force. This problem has resulted in a mess of regulatory uncertainty and a lack of clarity on how and if the ban could be enforced.

Its negative unintended consequences have come under fire, too. Some disability rights advocates have insinuated that the ban is ableist. And substitutes for single-use plastics listed under the ban are flawed. For example, paper straws might deliver all sorts of toxins, and metal straws can cause mouth damage. The ban also eliminated a local Calgary grocer's innovative fully compostable grocery bag, which doubles as a compost bin liner, thereby removing an incentive for people in the city to compost at home. The thicker 'reusable,' often plastic-fiber-based checkstand bags that are still allowed may need to be reused 7100 times before being considered an environmentally friendly alternative to the now-banned single-use checkstand bag. Most Canadians (if they are honest about it) now have piles of these things lying around or have trashed them because they quickly pile up, particularly if one has to rely on grocery delivery services, thus defeating the purpose of banning the single-use plastic grocery bag, to begin with.

(As an aside, in the spirit of evidence-based fairness, I asked the Liberals if they were measuring how many of these types of bags were being sold since the ban had come into force, how many were making their way into the landfill, and what they were doing to make sure the policy didn't amount to some perverse scam to reduce grocers overhead by making Canadians pay a corporate bag tax. Their response was essentially a shrug and a raised middle finger. If the ban was the environment saving measure they’ve billed it to be, this wouldn't have been the case).

But back to the whole intolerance for minor irritations predicting the end of a relationship thing. 

For proof that the Canadian public's patience with the ban (and the Liberal party) is waning, look no further than the swift, angry response to the city of Calgary's city council's one-upmanship of the federal policy. Many Calgarians - even traditional left-of-centre core urban dwellers - became severely cheesed when they discovered that already expensive fast food would cost more due to fees imposed upon cutlery and bags. The city council ended up quickly reversing the ban.

The takeaway from the recent ill-fated Calgary foray into messing with straws, bags and forks should be a wakeup call to the federal Liberals.  The small indignities of the plastic ban happen to every Canadian daily, providing a frequent tactile reminder to consider whether the ban's juice is worth the squeeze. And, that conversation is repeatedly being had over straw-less Friday night drinks at the pub with friends, or with strangers at the bag-less checkout. Dissatisfaction with mushy paper products now establishes instant comradery among strangers and more importantly, serves as a passcode that proves that someone is safe to complain about the Liberal government with. It is the type of textbook, grassroots, free, viral bad press that should give any government instant nervous diarrhea. That this has happened with a topic that used to carry a high risk of public cancellation (so you WANT turtles to die!!??), it should be abundantly clear to the Liberals that the good old days of virtue signaling their problems away are over.

But if the federal Liberals are paying attention to the public's irritation over cupboards stuffed with reusable bags, mushy paper straws, and sliver-inducing bamboo spoons, they aren't showing any signs of caring about it. They are pressing forward with expanding their ban, not repealing it. 

And Liberal cabinet Minister Randy Boissonnault's weekend mocking of Conservative MP Lianne Rood's irritation with paper coffee cup lids didn't show much situational awareness, either. 

In a video meant to mock Ms. Rood's expression of anger over paper lids that half disintegrate upon contact with the hot coffee they are supposed to cover, Mr. Boissonnault exuded the same level of bourgeoisie as someone examining an amuse-bouche at a three-starred Michelin restaurant. Watching Mr. Boissonnault awkwardly manhandle a Boston-cream to a song whose lyrics (ironically) include "I can’t relate…my give a damns are on vacation" was truly a sight to behold. In the video, filmed days after reports concerning his ethics emerged, one can practically hear his self-satisfied thoughts. "How dare the unwashed masses take issue with our paper lids! Haha! I’ll show them by pretending that I enjoy eating mass-produced carbohydrates! I’m amazing! Be grateful for your cardboard flavoured caffeine, peasants!" (You can watch Ms. Rood's video here, and Mr. Boissonnault's response video here).

With any relationship on the rocks, one party usually only notices the signs of decay in hindsight. With their misread of the growing discontent over the single-use plastics ban during a generational affordability crisis, such seems to be the case with the federal Liberals.

Come the next election, they may find that Canadians have well and truly had the last straw.

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P.S. Conservative MP Corey Tochor recently introduced a private member's bill to repeal the Liberals' single-use plastics ban. You can read his speech to the House of Commons here. The bill will be voted on in this Parliament.